p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
