I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
