Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
of course. lets lasso hookers.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
