I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
