THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
