hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
