I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
what day is it and did you see me today?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
