its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
