At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
