I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
