Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
