whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
