As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
