I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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