mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Me too!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I AM VODKA MAN
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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