Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
