Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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