I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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