i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
