I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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