i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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