Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
