Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
