I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he was CRYING into my vagina
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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