Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
handjob tips. give me some.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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