Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
