the condom got lost in my hair
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
