Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
