Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The air was thick with penises
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
