I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
