I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We don't watch enough power rangers
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
