her vagine was all disorganized.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
