I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
