Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He? As in you personified your dick?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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