trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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