just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
