It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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