My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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