Your tits are I can't wait for
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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