some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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