lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
