one two three fourrrrnication!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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