these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
