Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
When are your genitals available?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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