This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
