Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
