Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
