conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
