I just threw up on my dentist
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
