She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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